Illeanarama - Supermarket of the Stars

Illeana Asks “Paper Or Plastic?”

by j. brotherlove

Where do downtrodden actors go? If they’re like Illeana Douglas, Justine Bateman and Ed Belgey Jr., they retire from showbiz to work at the local Bel-Air supermarket.

That’s the premise of Illeanarama - Supermarket of the Stars, a fictional mini mini series that has been “airing” on YouTube over the past six weeks. Originally shot as a short, the film has been edited into 4-5 minutes “episodes” and uploaded to the popular viral video website by Zeitbyte Internet Video, a provider of Internet video and audio solutions.

The short, directed by Douglas, is smartly written with Ileana delivering lines with trademark deadpan precision. As Supermarket opens, we learn that Illeana would prefer to work incognito, dodging fans and oddball coworkers. However, boss Mr. Babaramla has other ideas: “You think I hire you for your grocery store expertise? So you sign few autographs. You pose some pictures. We sell more bread.”

Assistant manager Ed Belgey Jr. helps Illeana transition to life as an ex-actress, holding Actors Anonymous meetings at the store (where Ileana admits “My life was like a French film. Where nothing made any sense. But I looked really good.”). Ed also gives sage advice to shoppers and actors (“Underneath that smock you’re still an artist.”)

We soon discover that supermarket employment is “the new fashion statement” as celebrities Jeff Goldblum, Jane Lynch and Jerry Mathers (Leave It To Beaver) round out the cast.

It’s a shame the short hasn’t been developed for television; it’s darn funny. I’ve been a fan of Illeana Douglas since 1994’s independent film Grief. She ranks up there with Parkey Posey in my book. And Jane Lynch never fails to please. Check out the series for some chuckles. a special ‘lost episode’ starring Daryl Hannah and Sara Silverman is scheduled to be uploaded soon.