World AIDS Day: Where’s The Love?
The beat goes onby j. brotherlove
The beat goes on, the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain
La de da de de, la de da de da
— “The Beat Goes On”
Sonny & Cher
World AIDS Day is generally the time of year when I publish something emotional to get you to think a bit deeper about the pandemic. But I’m not sensing a good return on those types of posts. Eye balls, sure. Detached statistics, yup. Cloaked judgment, un-huh. The beat goes on but where’s the love?
As a black, gay man, I don’t have the luxury of solely writing about HIV/AIDS once a year. It’s all around me, all the time. My core friends and associates are activists, health care workers, and people living with AIDS. We talk about it all the time. And just like you, I see messages and ads for new medications and getting tested everywhere I turn.
Those of us who are HIV negative can feel alienated and resentful of the HIV campaign. After all, there are more things going on in the world than HIV/AIDS, right? Don’t people get it by now? Can’t we have black and/or gay publications without an ad for HIV medications and treatment every 10 pages?
Those of us who are HIV positive can feel so guilty and ashamed, so alone and ostracized that we become paralyzed or angry and don’t act responsibly. Don’t people understand how hard it is to live with this disease? Don’t they understand how easily they could be like us?
Those of us who do not know our HIV status are frightened or unconcerned. Although we haven’t always been completely safe, we have no HIV symptoms so we convince ourselves we’re negative. Besides, that’s a disease gays, blacks and drug users catch. If I’m not any of those things, I don’t have to be worried, right?
These are valid emotions but the reality is, none of us have earned the right to downplay the importance HIV/AIDS plays in our future. The truth is, we all have to do a better job of taking care of ourselves and others. We have to practice love in all its forms.
Those of us who are HIV negative need to realize that we may not always be that way. Even if we are, someone close to us most likely will be directly affected by HIV/AIDS (maybe even our parents, grandparents or someone else we love over 50). If we are dating or in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share our concern for our life by having protective sex, that ain’t the partner for us.
Those of us who are HIV positive have to protect ourselves from other diseases (including the disturbing rise of super STDs) and have sex responsibly (that doesn’t mean boring). Even when we are having sex with another HIV positive person, we need to be sure we agree on what risks are being taken.
Those of us who do not know our HIV status need to realize we may already be HIV positive (most people infected don’t know their status). The worse way to find out we’re infected is when we’re lying in the hospital with pneumonia or another illness that’s hard to beat. Ignorance is not bliss. Tests are quick, confidential and free. Let’s hop to it.
Today, I dedicate this post to you; because you are active in spreading education about this pandemic; you are struggling with living with HIV/AIDS; you don’t restrict your dating pool based on HIV status; you boldly represent the “face of HIV/AIDS” in the media; you talk honestly about sex with your children and friends; you protect yourself even when it’s hard; you participate in clinical trials; you volunteer your time to help others; you debunk the myths; you don’t hide behind the pulpit while your congregation withers; you stand up and show out when people are being assholes.
I love you. Now love yourself back.
Past Thoughts on WAD:
- World AIDS Day: The Last Sucker (2003)
- World AIDS Day: Rewind (2004)
- World AIDS Day: One Goodbye In Ten (2005)
Atlanta Events:
Read & Watch:
Education & Action:
Forgive me if this comes out the wrong way, but really admired this post. Then, it is your shoot from the hip honesty I find most admirable. Sometimes, I think the message about HIV/AIDS is getting through. Looking askance, I wonder about the complacency of many in the heat of the moment and the sleeping tigar waiting and waiting to show its teeth at a future date.
No problem, trent. The fact you took the time to comment at all speaks volumes to me. Thanks!
It seems as though there were fewer folks blogging about World AIDS Day this year. I won’t read anything into that. Just an observation.
Actually Bernie, I think it speaks volumes about our current attitudes about HIV/AIDS. But you know me, always making a mountains out of a molehills…
Yeah, but my other thought was that bloggers are all about the flava of the month. “WAD blogging is so last year!”
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