Open Discussion

I had a great time with Ex Lover, yesterday. We enjoyed the play - enough - and afterwards, were in the spirit to stay out…

by j. brotherlove

I had a great time with Ex Lover, yesterday. We enjoyed the play - enough - and afterwards, were in the spirit to stay out in the streets. Since he’d never been to Halo, I took him for cocktails and blew $50. The good liquor made a brutha good ‘n hungry so we walked over to The Vortex for some burgers and watched the Saturday night Bulldogs crowd build from across the street. After we got home, we slept damn good.

This morning we had our usual deep conversation about The Future Of Us. Ex Lover is trying to resolve his issues about being in an open relationship with me. I haven’t explicitly asked for one. But he is “preparing” himself for the time in which he will have to make a decision. This is his way.

His “ickiness” on being in an open relationship centers on the potential for embarrassment when “others” confront him. This “opinion from others” unfortunately governs too much of what he does in my opinion. But, I digress. He also wants to “feel proud that nobody else is getting what [he’s] getting”. I can understand that; I’m a possessive muthafucka, myself. But, what makes me uneasy is how he equates the “something he’s getting” solely with my dick; as if that’s all I have to offer. Or worse, if that’s all he finds “special” about me.

Anyway, I told him I haven’t committed to an “open” relationship and that if I do we will have much more dialog about what that means and what boundaries should be observed, etc.

Again, my main goal is to not have an agreed upon monogamous relationship in which I, or my partner, regularly has sex with others and pretend we’re not. Foul. If I cannot commit to monogamy I will need a polyamorous relationship or remain single.

is there a reason polyamorous sounds so much sexier than monogamous?

Why doesn’t monogamy include the root amor?

Why do I continue to be a big ol’ word nerd?

Don’t worry, Jason. I’m a latent etymologist, as well. How language is formed, developed, adopted, misused, re-configured… all that shit is interesting to me.

And Anitra makes three. Words, linguistics, etc. is interesting to me too. Sometimes I listen to the words people say and the way they say them, and wonder, “Where did we get this word?” :) “Why does it sound like this?” “Why do we use it like that?”

Oops. “Words, linguistics, etc. ARE interesting to me…” And I call myself an English major.

Anitra - when you know the rules, you can break them. *wink*

ahhhh, how i love being in the company of other word nerds…(ahem), i mean, people who love words as much as i do…. *grin*