Isle of Brotherlove

First of all, you have to read about Wood’s shopping escapade with his mother. It’s priceless. And Prime got me thinking about his question “Is…

by j. brotherlove

First of all, you have to read about Wood’s shopping escapade with his mother. It’s priceless. And Prime got me thinking about his question “Is it realistic to think that we are capable of living our lives without relying on those around us for some level of support?”:

My father always stressed to me and my brother, that we needed to take care of our own business. Although, I’m not nearly as disciplined as he is, I try to follow his example when it comes to personal matters. I’ve alwyas been pretty proud of this quality but, frequently it is a topic of contention with me and Loverboy. He loves to rely on me to do things for him (pick up dry cleaning, book plane tickets, reformat his Word documents, etc.). He considers it an extenson of his love that he can trust me to help make his life easier. One one level, I am flattered. But, often I rebel against his “honey do” lists because I feel like he could get these things done just as effectively - if not moreso - if he did them himself.

As if that wasn’t enough, he gets equally upset because I don’t ask him to assist with my personal matters. We recently had a heated discussion because I didn’t ask him to help when I took The Boycruiser in for brake repair. He reminded me that I could borrow his car and he would take it in and get the work done during the day because his schedule is more flexible. To be honest, I never thought about it. My approach to the situation: my car - my problem. And that’s how I approach most of my problems. It’s the brotherlove against the world.

But, how realistic is that?

Certainly, everyone needs assistance, on occasion. No man is an island. In fact, assuming total responsibility doesn’t exactly get the job gone quicker - at least, not with me. But, I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to be one of those people others hate to talk to because I always need something, some sort of favor. I don’t want you to look at caller id when I call, suck your teeth and put the phone down. I don’t want you to regret running into me on the street because you know I’ll have some new drama I can’t resolve with your help. Those sort of people bug me, and through projection - I assume they bug others, too. Which suggests another emotion on my part: arrogance. I’m proud when I can take care of an issue without asking for help, especially something you think I couldn’t do on my own.

But, perhaps, that’s another topic.