Changing Every Day

Bringing the inside out

by j. brotherlove

Over the weekend, I was asked if I miss my job. You would think I’d have a quick answer but actually, I had to think about it for a minute. My answer: yes and no. Yes, I miss the human interaction that comes from working a regular 9-5 (I’m not the most outgoing individual so "meeting people" can be a challenge). But no, I do not miss my job functions. I thought I did but now realize, I have changed.

Change Is Good, Right?

Okay, so I haven’t made a complete change. I still believe in excellent customer service, adequate training and helping people reach their full potential. But not in the same context; not on somebody else’s terms. Frankly, I no longer want to do things I don’t enjoy just to get a paycheck. I understand that I may have to resort to that type of situation (especially, if my design/writing doesn’t produce an income) but I’m not giving in without a fight.

That said, I’m not taking full advantage of the amount of flexible time I have now. That is something I need to change; like yesterday. Everyday I study and practice design techniques between freelancing and reading. But I’m about to crank things up, especially in the writing arena. And I need to get out of the house more.

Realizations and Going Forward

It’s been three months since I was downsized (how quickly time passes) and I need more product from my new professional identity. This sabbatical has convinced me to take advantage of as many moments as possible because I can’t get them back. There are too many things I’ve always wanted to do. And when this transition is over, I’d like to have a story or two to tell at the very least.

So while these past months have been mostly about internal growth; going forward I need to project that change onto print and screen. With focus on goals, planning and implementation, there’s no telling what I will achieve. I am smart and talented enough to do it.

Sometimes you get angry
No focus in your life
When people get hungry
They learn how to survive

Chorus:
Changing every day
Changing every day
Changing every day
Changing every day

— "Changing Every Day"
Culture Club

I feel you on multiple levels here. I haven’t been downsized, however I’m preparing to downsize myself by letting go of a job that is full of stress and lacking personal fullfillment! I too no longer want to do things I don’t enjoy to get a paycheck, it’s about more at this point in my life.

BTW, I’m a life long Culture Club fan!

Well, today is my first day of umeployment after being downsized from work I actually enjoyed at a place of employment I liked. So there is some sadness and adjustment to go through. I now have a template upon which to judge all future employment situations because there really were a lot of positives.

I now recognize the value of a steady paycheck and benefit and work that I enjoy or can at least tolerate, while also making full use of after work and weekend time to do my own thing. I don’t have the stomach any more for full-time freelancing and its uncertain financial status but also can’t work for just anyone. So I must find a balance.

I loved not working, primarily because I could finally give the people in my life the time they deserved/demanded.

And then I went back…

@Hopluv, best of luck; it’s more than a notion. Doesn’t that song sound as fresh as it did in the 80s?

@Bernie: The balance is the tricky part. It’s difficult to maintain that in the best of situations.

@sean: Don’t you have some mood music for this type of thing?