Attitude (Out Of Hand)

Despite my declaration around the second week of 2004 on the DIC Janet Jackson Catwalk: “EJ, This is The Year of Peace & Love” (snicker…

by j. brotherlove

Despite my declaration around the second week of 2004 on the DIC Janet Jackson Catwalk: “EJ, This is The Year of Peace & Love” (snicker and die), I have been in a very, touchy mood lately.

And I hate that.

Not “boo hoo” touchy, neither. More like “I’ll rip your heart out through your g*ddamned throat if you take one more breath” touchy for unjustifiable reasons. And that ain’t cute — or in keeping with my “peace & love” schtick. I hate not being able to control my attitude and emotions. Sure, I know I should be able to. “They” all write books about how you can change your attitude, yadda, yadda, yadda. Well, I simply cannot. Bitch.

There really must be something to that male period thing that Bernie mentioned. Although, if it’s any consolation to the menstruating sex, my butt hurts during this particular male cycle. And not for the myriad of twisted, man-sex reasons you may be tempted to impart, potty brain.

Luckily today, I discovered Aleve. That shit works! Well, if your butt hurts, anyway. I think I tried it on a monster headache when it first became an OTC and it didn’t do a damned thing. Which, essentially, is why I don’t take any pills I don’t have to (and even still — consistency not being my strong suit). So now… Much. Better. Wait a minute, is Aleve a gateway drug?

“…And in today’s news, best-selling author, prominent Gauliter model and international sex machine thebrotherlove was found in a public, Parisian toilet covered in regurgitated Little Debbie Banana Twins® Cakes; after apparently overdosing on a dangerous mix of opium, Anaprox® and Internet, blackmarket Levitra®…”

Can’t be too careful, after all. These things have a way of getting out of hand.

That little snippet would be hot for your VHI Behind The Music or E! True Hollywood Story. And if you need any help with the attitude, I have some Lithium in my purse.

“‘They’ all write books about how you can change your attitude, yadda, yadda, yadda. Well, I simply cannot. Bitch.”

I am dying laughing. I hate not being able to control my emotions, either. I’m getting better, but sometimes, they seem to the be the mofos in the driver’s seat. *sigh*

And oh, those Banana Twin things…*swallowing hard* Just thinking about eating too many of those things is making me ill. I don’t know. If it’s not a banana or banana-nut bread, I can’t get down with banana like that.

Maybe it’s the phallic-like engineering, babygirl. *woot*

…wait, do Gaultier models set off airport detection devices??? *snicker*

It’s not even the phallic-like engineering…*pause*…it’s just I don’t know…the taste or texture or something of bananas sometimes. Kind of off-putting.

Aleve…Midol for men.

LOL

I’ve been in a particularly sour mood too. Combination of work and personal life and family life, so I at least know a little bit as to why I’m in such a funk. But lately, it’s just been downright evil. Must. Stop. Now.

Karsh, it may seem like work and home are getting you down, but trust me, it’s your time of the month.

2004 is not looking pretty. In the past month I’ve fought with more people than I did in all of 2003 and suddenly I’ve become sensitive and moody as all hell. Unlike you j., I’ve got a mixture of “rip your heart out” toucy and “boo hoo” touchy that’s making me feel like a pregnant woman. Make it stop…please.

Don’t tell nobody, but the j in j-notes is feeling a little lazy these days. I think it has been for awhile. It just feels like I am getting around to doing a lot of things but nothing much is getting done. Maybe it is just a funk that will soon past. In the meantime, j, I hope you are feeling better boo.

I guess that “think happy thoughts” shyt won’t work either, huh. Well, go choke the living shyt out of someone who desperately deserves it (no, then they’d do a re-enactment of your case on Law & Order)…. have you considered a change of scenery?

Considered a change of scenery? Yes, Benard. Unfortunately, I am not blessed with the funds and vacation days to pull it off.