2004: A Recap

Looking back; looking forward

by j. brotherlove

I made it to the end of 2004. Many people — some who touched my life in unique ways — did not. I have not always been especially reflective at the end of a year; only lately. Now, I feel compelled to check in with myself and qualify the past 12 months.

How else can I measure progress; determine if I’m truly moving forward, backward or even, remaining stagnant. I hate stagnant.

I’ve reflected on the following areas of my life:

• Health & Wellness. I have to admit, I don’t know why I am in as good as shape as I am (which isn’t saying much). I’m not as invested in my overall health and wellness as I should. I don’t exercise and I bounce from a sensible diet to eating a pint of Haagen Dazs for dinner. I have to instill some consistency. First up, schedule a dentist appointment and a physical; I am not superhuman. I stumbled with my journey to Buddhism. I believe joining a sangha (or at least visit one) would anchor my developing belief with some action. It’s all about action in 2005.
• Love & Sex. I embody the name like “brotherlove” and cannot escape the perpetual observance, pursuit and acceptance of love and sex— in its many forms. I focused on cultivating and exploring my relationship with Loverboy, this year. Balancing my love for him with the love for myself is not always easy for me to do. Love can change into forms unexpected. I learned to embrace the unknown. I continued to explore alternative methods of sexual commitment. It’s a process I may never figure out completely. And perhaps, that’s for the best. When I know completely how something works, I get bored with it. I never want to bore of love or sex.
• Family & Friendships. Although we live within an hour of each other, my brother and I are somewhat strangers. His new son gave us a great opportunity to connect. Now I need to maintain that connection. As the older brother, I have to reach out to him and stop using his poor communication in the past as an excuse. In contrast, I’ve always been close to my mother. And my father and I have grown closer over the past seven years. Now that they are a two and a half hour drive (instead of a two and a half hour flight) away, I expect my relationship with my parents to grow even more. My friendships, on the other hand, suffered for most of 2004.I’ve done a poor job of establishing new ones and cultivating the ones I have.
• Education & Career. It’s clear to me that I need more education to excel financially. And working in a cubicle under legacy corporate rules is becoming more difficult to tolerate. Although my impetus for completing my degree was triggered by a lackluster position in a large corporation, recent epiphany points to my completion of a degree as an opportunity to learn about something that really interests me. After all, I’m paying for it. Why should I endure this experience only to get a diploma in a field I detest that doesn’t come with any financial assurances.
• Design & Writing. It’s pretty obvious that I have an interest in (and dare I say talent for) writing and design. In the past year, I’ve designed and maintained a major website, several sub-sites, designed and printed flyers, and redesigned a couple of blogs; all based on word of mouth and little effort on my part. Time to put in a little effort, I say. Daddy needs a new pair of shoes. I’ll also focus more on getting some writing in print for the naysayers. My online journal and blog will probably change again, as a result.

Overall, it has been a bittersweet year. There have been plenty of disappointments but I’ve certainly been through worse. Besides, I don’t want to use negativity as a guage for future happiness. There are more blessings ahead. I’m just scraping at the surface.

See you on the other side of 2005!

Happy New Year!

J, may 2005 be the time for you to express yourself, creatively, like never before! (You know I’m all for that!) LET IT FLOW!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, j!

Happy New Year!

Keep it live in the Oh-5!

j. you are da man! nuff said.

Think of yourself as the Brother who’s receiving the flow of Love this year. Wishing you all the best ….

Happy New Year - Love ya baby! I still can’t get offer seeing my feet when I come to this site. lol

I meant “over” damn.

And yeah like CD said - u da man.

Happy New Year! Let your talent move you towards happiness.

Happy (late) New Year, my friend. :) I love your year in review, very succinct observations and realistic plans of action. I should take some advice from you lol. :)

j., wishing you all the best for the new year!