Bad Mood On Monday

Shades of a Schleprock existence

by j. brotherlove

No need to break out the violins, I’m just trying to work through my current state of unhappiness by writing it all out. Copious amounts of fatty food, alcohol and anonymous sex works too but, you know… I’m at work.

What a shitty day!

Okay, perhaps it’s not the fault of the day. I tried to start the day off right — positive mind and all that. But I’m just in a serious funk. Meditating more regularly would probably help; especially if I did it in the mornings. I just haven’t been able to establish a routine and stick to it.

I am involved in several projects all requiring my design talents. I should be flattered but they are mostly no (or low) pay. Besides, my job is choking every creative impulse out of my body. I may as well be an NS-5.

And it’s not like I’m sitting around waiting for life to happen to me. I’m trying to make changes but nothing is maturing. I’ve applied for three positions at my company and each time have been blocked by some technicality including, “We filled the position with an internal candidate” and “That listing should have been deleted a long time ago”. Each rejection has a polite “Thank you for your interest” tacked on the end.

Fuck!

The school thing is… well, I don’t really know. I re-applied and got accepted to GSU but now I’m ultra-anxious to just have the damn thing done. When I consider the possibility of being stuck at my current salary while I labor for three or four years in school I ache. I’m considering an online program or a school with an accelerated degree program. They cost much more than a state university so I’m trying to figure out how to pay for all of this. Plus, my need and desire to complete my degree is countered by the nagging sense that a degree won’t make one hell of a difference anyway when it comes to developing a fruitful career.

That’s just the devil talking, right?

And have I shared that I’ve gotten fat? Just. Like. That. Generally, summer is the one season where I can eat anything I want and not gain a pound because the heat curbs my appetite and I’m always on the go. This summer’s clash of violent thunderstorms and absurd heat indexes have kept me indoors, inactive and munching on all the wrong food.

I mean, just because I’m attracted to men with bellies doesn’t mean I want to be a man with a belly — there’s a difference. It makes my pants fit improperly (the ones I can fit into). Besides, Anaconda looks more impressive when he doesn’t have to play peek-a-boo with my stomach. I’ll be on the Subway/SlimFast/salad and water tip for a minute to try to get this excess love off of me. Trust.

Whew — that venting helped a bit. But what I desperately need is a MegaBoost of Positivity (yes); I’m talking some primo, I Duddits type of shit to get me out of the this rut. Preferably not in pill form.

Oh hell… now Google is giving me 503 Server Errors. Is there no mercy for thebrotherlove? I wonder if anyone would notice if I didn’t come back from lunch.

Wowzy, woszy, woo woo.

Join the club, homie. This has been a suck-ass day indeed.

Is there a club for people like us, who are having a bad Monday? My buddy icon pays testament to this. It features one buddy saying to another, “Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays.” The other buddy proceeds to slap the first guy. That’s me on most Mondays.

P.S. I’m on my second degree, and people are pushing me to get a third, and I’m not sure either how much good they do with building a fruitful, personally satisfying career. But you didn’t hear that from me.

Ooh, Thing! Imma need you to give me my bad mood back because it looks much better on me. And how ‘bout Will’s chest? It’s a wundavoo thing…

mondays are the most got-damn awful day of the week, and this week especially, since i experienced a summer friday last week. hey but by wednesday, things’ll be looking damn bright ‘cuz friday will only be two days away.

Belly & blues you’re still sexy :) You will feel better as of 3:05 tomorrow (or today) as your royal ooh la la will be touching down in the good ole ATL. I’ll send over some good energy to surround you and *POOF* you will be fine! I’ll call you and see if I might be able to pry you away for a bit…maybe lunch and some more “What Not To Wear” spotting? hmm? Talk to you soon and feel better xoxo