10 Things: Tyra

…Should Stop Doing If She Wants To Keep Her Talk Show On The Air

by j. brotherlove

As a black, gay man who likes big boobs and ass, it’s not surprising for me to be a fan of Tyra Banks and America’s Next Top Model. Sometimes life isn’t so complicated. Sure, Tyra sucks at acting and singing. But she balances those failures with lovely runway and a website that kick serious booty.

Still, I’m worried about this whole “talk show” business of hers. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy she’s got another chance to extend her media domination (in the way I’m happy for anyone who does something they feel really passionate about) - but still, I’m worried. I know it’s her first week and she’s trying to find her stride. Eager to help, I’ve compiled Ten Things Tyra Should Stop Doing If She Wants To Keep Her Talk Show On The Air:

Shouting at the teleprompter. You’re wearing a mic, homegirl. We can hear you.
Attempting to pump up the crowd with “Wooh!” Unlike modeling, crowd interaction should not be stiff and fake.
Preview a “surprise” by talking about it. Just let it flow so we will be surprised.
“Fierce!” Say it one more time, whydon’tcha and I swear…
Making funny faces. The sneers, frowns and random facial expressions are distracting.
Talking about her mama. Keep Moms on the payroll but in the background.
Burying her head in her guests’ ass. Tyra’s so eager to praise and be the “Yes Man” it’s annoying.
Giving away gifts to the audience ala Oprah. Tyra will stop a segment to hand a cupcake to an audience member.
Talking about the dimples on her booty. We get it, you’re real and we love you for it. But we still don’t want to know about your ass dimples.
Forcing guests to “work the runway”. Only five shows in and it’s already passe.